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Killer and a Sweet Thang is the sex ed you wish you had– but it’s not too late to catch up.
By Hadassah Penn.
“To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, sex is never about just sex.”
That’s Jacob Seferian speaking. “It’s about politics, power,” he continues. Seferian is the Editorial Director of Killer and a Sweet Thang (KAAST), a digital platform that explores sex and relationships through an inclusive, modern lens.
When founder Eileen Kelly started Killer and a Sweet Thang, it was just a personal Tumblr account, a way for her to interact with other young people interested in exploring topics like intimacy, identity, and young adulthood. Kelly herself was a young adult- she still is- and her followers appreciated her candour. She answered the questions they asked and the ones they didn’t even know they had.
As Kelly’s readers grew, so did KAAST. It’s now a fully-fledged media brand, of which Kelly is CEO. Its content focuses heavily on the social and emotional aspects of relationships, not just the mechanics of sex, “folks who read Eileen’s Tumblr back in the day are now in their twenties,” says Seferian, “they’re more interested in unpacking gender roles, communicating in relationships, etc. So, we try to meet the need where we can.”
In other words: “We try to pick up where most of our sex-ed left off, and then go the extra mile by incorporating critical thought about the social and societal systems that have affected our sexual development,” Seferian explains, “simple stuff, really.”
In an age where “it’s complicated” is an overused catch-all phrase, it seems counterintuitive to refer to sex and relationships as “simple.” But Killer and a Sweet Thang approaches these topics with an empathy and frankness that does indeed resemble simplicity. “I think the biggest thing KAAST contributes to these conversations is a lack of judgement,” says Seferian, “beyond hard human lines of consent, etc., we try not to impose the concept of right and wrong onto our writers.”
Killer and a Sweet Thang is known for discussing topics that others shy away from, with one clear exception. “The ‘everyone deserves a voice’ belief ends with racists and bigots,” says Seferian. Beyond that, though, almost any topic that is sex or health or identity related is fair game- a model which resonates with readers, but less so advertisers. “The corporate powers that be conflate our content’s candour and willingness to go there with pornography/erotica,” Seferian explains. “Our team has had many discussions about this, but we truly believe it’s this same ‘explicit’ candour that makes this work valuable. Our articles are really more essays and personal testimonies- as an editor, I would never want to sanitize how our writer communicates their experience” he continues.
That personal touch is what sets Killer and a Sweet Thang apart from other sex-oriented platforms, “our emotions- how we feel, not just physically- play a pivotal role in how we relate to our partners. The standard curriculum doesn’t cover trauma, and that’s a problem.”
Of course, this philosophy is just as likely to spark debate as it is to resonate. Seferian recalls a KAAST article from 2017, titled “Why I Chose Not to Report My Rape,” in which author Samantha Muckle challenged societal expectations of assault survivors. “There were thousands of comments on Instagram debating whether or not what Samantha did was right,” Seferian remembers, “ultimately, KAAST’s mantra is if it resonated with one person, it’ll likely resonate with others.”
This is Seferian’s personal philosophy as well, and the reason that he’s passionate about Killer and a Sweet Thang: “When I lost my virginity, I got a hemorrhoid and my whole 19-year-old self thought it was anal herpes because I didn’t know any better,” he says. “All kids, but especially queer kids get virtually no sexual education. It’s on-the-job learning…I figured, if I could be part of something that would teach just one gay kid out there that they should use lube, I would do it.”
Queer-friendliness is indeed part of KAAST’s mission, “Eileen has always emphasised inclusivity as a cornerstone of the brand,” says Seferian, “naturally, our audience skews young.”
Another draw for young people is the practical, positive way that Killer and a Sweet Thang relates to technology. While many people are quick to single out dating apps, for example, as a reason for failed relationships or difficulty connecting, KAAST thinks differently. “Personally, I don’t subscribe to the notion that apps are negatively impacting intimacy,” says Seferian, “they’re changing it, for sure, but who’s to say for good or for bad?” Ultimately, “it’s a complex issue, especially when you consider how technology has and continues to fundamentally change every part of us.”
Thankfully, complex issues are Killer and a Sweet Thang’s strength, “talking about difficult subjects reminds us we’re not alone,” Seferian says, “all we have is our words.”
Photos courtesy of KAAST.
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