“For me, sex is everything. Sex is all joy, all life force, all poetry, all beauty, all youth, all divinity, all reason to be alive.”
At 86-years-old, Hattie Wiener has been crowned “the world’s oldest cougar”—a title she wears as a badge of honor. “It makes me proud to have achieved a singular, unique achievement,” she says. Wiener is a licensed sexologist, sex and dating coach, model, and media personality.
A born and raised New Yorker, Wiener started her career with dance. She was a teacher at The School for Creative Movement, which later inspired her to introduce movement therapy into her private practice, using dance to help women deal with the sexual issues that come with age. It wasn’t until she was in her 70s that Wiener began her modeling career, posing for publications like Vogue. Wiener’s sex-positive message began to spread; she was featured on television shows like Extreme Cougar Wives, Dr. Phil, and Inside Edition.
As women age, they are faced with a variety of stereotypes about being old–many of which are anti-sexual. Wiener embodies the opposite. She is youthful, full of life, and brimming with desire. Wiener believes it is vital for women to stay not only sexually active as they age but sexually empowered. “Feeling and looking sexually desirable are generally associated with youth. Cultivating these things as we age imparts radiant life-long youthfulness and an enhanced sense of self-worth,” Wiener explains.
Sex is primal to human nature. It can be fun, scary, powerful, and empowering. “For me, sex is everything. Sex is all joy, all life force, all poetry, all beauty, all youth, all divinity, all reason to be alive,” says Wiener, a mother, and grandmother.
Like many people today, Wiener typically finds her sexual partners online and through dating apps. Initially afraid her age would be a turn-off, Wiener discovered it to be no trouble. “I realized that while most men desire younger women, there are enough hot, young guys to fill any older woman’s bed! And guess what? Young guys don’t think of age; they think of having an orgasm,” she explains.
Wiener lived most of her life in New York City, where she could typically be found strutting in an oversized frilly coat, a large necklace, and a pair of outlandish shades. Her confidence is apparent through both her fashion and persona. Wiener says she finds this sense of conviction by looking inside. “I feel beautiful because of my honesty and integrity. I’ve never cheated, never lied, and never had an affair.” She also emphasizes the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle; she focuses on a holistic approach to life and is always moving.
As for her outer image, Wiener doesn’t label her clothes as fashionable. “For me, fashion is a look. I choose clothing that expresses the image I wish to portray at any given time. Cashmere, faux leather, high top gold sneakers, lots of white linen, and sexy, skin-revealing white bathing suits,” says Wiener. “Nothing I wear can be labeled ‘fashion.’ I dress myself in items that I feel are beautiful and that make me feel special. The result? The Hattie look!”
It isn’t uncommon for women to be harsher on their body image as they age and their bodies change, but Wiener is a prime example that age is just a number. Sex, beauty, love–it’s for everyone. Wiener advises women “to find your unique beauty and revel in sharing it. Laugh at the age and never feel belittled or undermined. Be a kind, truthful, and fine woman.”
Photos courtesy of Hattie Weiner.
